A Message On Tolerance from A “Barking…Rainbow Protestor”

From time to time I will take messages I read (or receive) from ex-gay/conversion ministry leaders and turn them into blog posts. Will quote them verbatim but the bolded/italicized/underlined parts of their quotes are my emphasis.  – Randy


RHN Director Anne Paulk writes on June 16th and republishes on July 10th:

“Tolerance is a two-way street. We expect the respect and freedom to leave homosexuality as much as respecting their right to remain homosexual or transgender.”

Then Anne writes on July 13th:

“In answer to the various groups around the US and world helping people align with the faith instead of running their lives through the lens of errant sexual feelings

Yes, so very nice of her to tolerate our right to “remain” in a life run through “the lens of errant sexual feelings.”

Then there is RHN Vice Chairman of the Board, Stephen Black. He tweets (currently pinned to the top of his Twitter profile) :

Spiritual leaders who compromise a little on “gay Christianity” now, are sowing into the next generation a cruel bondage of perversion.

#Scary #ReligiousBOO!

And…. RHN Chairman Andy Comiskey wrote in his post “Take The Hit“:

The rainbow protesters came as planned to our 6th annual Restored Hope Network Conference in San Diego…, and as usual, barked more than they bit. (‘We’re queer, we’re here’; yeah, we know.) An activist warned RHN Director Anne Paulk: ‘You’re bigots, you’re hateful…we’ve taught our kids to love everyone.’ Huh. Apparently love applies to everyone but persons who take seriously the gender of their birth and who by God’s grace refuse to allow abuse, self-hatred, and LGBT fantasies to conceal their true selves. 

And RHN wonders why loving people would call them out on their bigotry? Actually, they seem to revel in it. It’s the only kind of media strategy they have.

While reading these quotes, I was eating Scottish oatmeal for breakfast. My partner made it with love and a kiss on the cheek because he knows I can’t cook. Totally would starve to death without him. And as I look over at him cuddling with his daughter as they watch Saturday morning cartoons together, nothing about our life and love is a fantasy, abusive or self-hating…. and I need more oatmeal.

Maybe it’s just me but I am not feeling the love, tolerance, and respect from my former friends and RHN’s top three leaders expression of “tolerance” for my “remaining” gay via the “lens of errant sexual feelings”, for “sowing a cruel perversion” as one of many “barking… rainbow protesters” who they believe doesn’t “…take seriously” my “birth gender” and apparently allows “abuse, self-hatred and LGBT fantasies to hide my real self.” …

:::heart check:::checking again::: Nope, not feeling any love from them at all.

Tolerance isn’t a two-way street when one party could care less if you tolerate them or not. many of us who left the ex-gay/conversion ministry world realize the delusion and bigotry we once ascribed to. We don’t want, need or expect those who shout from the closet we escaped from to “tolerate” our exit from their world.

Their tolerance of our embracing reality and finding peace with God as LGBTQ+ people isn’t necessary.

I personally do “tolerate” a person’s right to ascribe to that damaging theology/ideology if they want to do so. That, however, does not equate to respect or accommodation. I don’t mind not meeting Anne’s expectations and will not “tolerate” religious hurt and spiritual abuse. After 23 years of experience having been in it, and a former perpetrator of it, no more.

Now it is time to join my love and his daughter for a nice kid friendly movie… :::heart check::: Ok now, I am feeling the love.

2 responses to “A Message On Tolerance from A “Barking…Rainbow Protestor””

  1. I guess I was one of those “barking rainbow protesters” outside the RHN conference. It was great to see the LGBTQ community and faith communities stand together in the protests.


    1. Thank you so much for being there. I wish I could have been. My nieces live there and I am glad they saw you all on the local news to counter efforts their Uncle Silly used to be involved in 🙂


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