Recent Articles

  • Broken Hearts Can Heal In Surprising Ways
    Received this email from K a good long while after I came out again. I will post the whole message (it’s short) so you can see the full context. Then I will parse out each point they are making and respond. First, the complete message: Randy, I cannot begin to tell you the pain, hurt, […]
  • Fall Seasonal Design 2022
    Fall Seasonal Design 2022 is complete! For Patrons at $10+ a month, I am sending a hand-drawn seasonal design in the mail (two cards). To receive these four times a year, become a Patron (or up your support to $10+ a month) at HTTP:// … In the meantime, please enjoy this full timelapse video. This […]
  • An Unexpected Kindness
    A friend I met when he was 16 (with his parents) at an ex-gay ministry has been in contact since I came back out. He is in his thirties now and a well-adjusted gay man. It’s still shocking to think how time flies. I am glad he made peace with himself and eventually grew beyond […]
  • Conversion Therapy Is Also Religious Extremism
    Twenty-one years ago today, the world watched, horrified, as the terrorist attack against the United States unfolded. The twin towers fell after two hijacked passenger planes struck them. The Pentagon was viciously decimated by another hijacked plane. And another plane full of brave people rose against their hijackers and forced the plane, apparently being aimed […]
  • Tuning Out Noise To Find A Positive Frequency
    Over the years, too many years to comfortably confess, I will watch videos or read posts of long-time exgay leaders giving voice to religious stigma in all sectors. These are people I had known for a very long time. As a result of doing this, I get energized. The problem is it is negative energy. […]
  • Four Exgay Fears That Are Myths
    For over 20 years in the exgay/conversion ministry world, I was taught, or had personal fears that certain things would happen if I ever “identified as gay’” again. I am going to put these accusations and personal fears in quotes (below) and then address each one directly: You are going to end up in a […]
  • Today’s Gay Agenda for August 31, 2022
    Today I had to: Kiss my husband and tell him I love him, and we both head out to our day. Go to the courthouse to get a copy of our marriage (still legal and will stay that way if I have any say in the matter) license. Go to the passport office, take a […]
  • The Real Price Of Changing Hearts And Minds Is To Change Our Own, First.
    I believe the Source (Spirit, Divine, Collective) has had me meditating on Jesus’ trial and how remarkable it was that He didn’t feel the need to defend Himself in the face of all the people who bore false testimony against Him.  Also, when political and religious leaders asked questions, He cut to the heart of […]
  • Choosing Your Battles
    Today, I learned of what I perceive is a betrayal and had the chance to just really let my anger flag fly! I decided to write out everything I was feeling and thinking and realized it wasn’t a battle I need. Notice I didn’t say, I want. I *want* to rant about the information I […]
  • Left Exodus Nine Years Ago, True Freedom Is Beautiful
    If you had told me nine years ago yesterday that I would be walking out of a cultish kind of movement and into a life of a married gay man, I wouldn’t have walked out of the Exodus office for the last time. I would have run straight (no pun intended) to my comfort food […]
  • How To Properly “Cherry Pick” Scriptures
    Religious conservatives are often accused of “cherry picking” scriptures as an exercise in confirmation bias. Here is how Oxford Languages define cherry-picking: Definition from Oxford Languages – cher·ry-pick verb — choose and take only (the most beneficial or profitable items, opportunities, etc.) from what is available. “The company should buy the whole airline and not just cherry-pick […]
  • Coming Out is the Beginning of Authenticity, not a Finish Line
    I have a friend going through huge disappointment and sharing about it online. I will not mention their name or links because I think that type of attention worsens the pattern. I see the pattern, too, and airing it all out on social media seems to be the start of their pattern. I have communicated […]

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