Hi there! Thanks for visiting my blog. I am in the ground-breaking documentary “Pray Away” a writer, speaker, LGBTQ+ advocate. However, my favorite titles are Uncle Silly to my amazing nieces, Fairy Godmother to my fantastic and full-of-life soon-to-be step-daughter, and fur-dad to Eli the Zombie-Killing Chihuahua and Queen Gigi the Grey. My ultimate favorite title is the husband of Mr. Dan Scobey.
My story of coming out, twice, reveals the struggle of coming to terms with being a gay man of faith. In my former career as the last Executive Vice President of Exodus International, I contributed to several books and was featured in a full-page ad in The Los Angeles Times, as well as Chuck Colson’s book The Good Life, and in media outlets around the world. Of course, that was from my past exgay perspective that I no longer promote or encourage; indeed, actively work against all that now.
I am now supportive of efforts to end conversion therapy for minors and the pastoral form of conversion therapy known as exgay ministry. I speak strongly against efforts to “change” a person’s sexual orientation.
I came out again on January 12th, 2015 after 21 years in the ex-gay world (1992 – 2013, when I helped with the shutdown of Exodus.) It’s not been the easiest transition but I feel freer than ever before! Today, I enjoy experiencing the beauty and image of God in every person I have the good fortune to meet.
I live with my little family in Sanford (just north of Orlando), Florida.
Here are my beliefs with regard to Ending Conversion Therapy and Exgay Ministry:
I am dedicated to full inclusion for LGBTQ+ people through education and advocacy by confronting religion-based stigma, conversion therapy, ex-gay ministry, and all other attempts to change or repress LGBTQ+ people’s innate sexuality and identity.
Affirming LGBTQ+ people is honoring the Image of God in us, as we are. I believe most people seek to love and affirm LGBTQ+ people but may have been conditioned through religious stigma to condemn us and our relationships. Through forced behavioral modification and imposing a false context on our lives this has created systemic oppression that keeps some LGBTQ+ from flourishing. I want to help change that by empowering LGBTQ+ people and our allies to navigate out of, heal from, and live beyond stigmatizing religion. Whether an LGBTQ+ person of faith or not, in whatever way I can I want to help people move forward to live emotionally and relationally thriving lives within the context of a healthy self-esteem, life-giving relationships, and equal standing within their community.
I celebrate the truth that all LGBTQ+ people are worthy of dignity, honor, respect, spiritual affirmation, and full equality in every sector of life. We stand against fear-based religious efforts to promote ex-gay brand of “conversion” therapy, and social/political inequality. We applaud all courageous efforts to help LGBTQ+ people develop and have access to more life-giving resources as they seek to avoid or escape oppressive religion to improve their lives.