Being able to say “I don’t know,” is sometimes a sweet relief…
In my twenties, I learned that I could have opinions on everything and that I was right.
In my thirties, I learned that not only was I right, but other people needed to be “right” too.
In my forties, I learned that all that wisdom I thought I had gleaned hadn’t been tested by time and experience; I learned idealism is not wisdom and most often, not reality; very hard lessons and world-shaking folly were discovered in my forties.
In my fifties, I learned to just say, “Fuck it. I don’t know” while shrugging my shoulders as I go back to whatever it is I am doing.
There are issues that I do know thoroughly. And there are issues I am convinced I am right about. For example, ex-gay conversion therapy is abuse. The movement is cult-like. And Conversion Therapy should be banned everywhere for anyone. 🙂
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But, there are myriads of opportunities to offer an opinion or solution that I don’t have to offer either. I don’t know and I don’t have to know so many things. I don’t want to be a source of all the answers even though I am a fount of questions.
When I do have direct wisdom and experience in something, sure, I can speak to what I know. But even then … I don’t have to enter the fray if the fray is going to wound me, others, or relationships.
Being able to say “I don’t know,” is sometimes a sweet relief.
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